Positive, specific, direct feedback about something someone did well is the way to help them grow. It guides their decision making going forward, and they will repeat what they know is valued.
Sam is not thrilled with his job anymore because of changes in the culture, but because he and his manager have good, candid dialog, it makes him want to continue to do his best every day. His manager lets her people know how they’re doing and what they can do to improve, in clear, direct, specific language. Sam knows where he stands with her, he knows she has his growth in mind, and he feels confident he can talk with her when he sees things differently than she does. She appreciates his feedback. It’s a win-win relationship.
Ray realizes now that his manager had given him feedback a couple of times in the last year that he didn’t take seriously because of the way it was delivered. Vague feedback does not work. The manager’s approach was subtle (in Ray’s mind), and there was no follow-up when the manager wasn’t seeing the changes he wanted. Ray thought he was doing OK. The manager was disappointed but didn’t communicate his frustrations effectively. He expected Ray to get it.
We can’t expect someone to “get it” when they are not doing what we want at the level expected, unless we give specific feedback. The best way to provide feedback is to positively reinforce what is done well and clearly state what could be done better, along with the reason for it. Asking the person for their input on why changes in the way they do something are important can lead to discussion that will open their eyes – and yours – to possible blind spots.
