I have found this to be true for many years. One of the 30 exemplary behaviors that make a real difference in leadership often lands in the bottom five in the feedback report*, meaning the leader does it infrequently, if at all.
Here’s the behavior:
Asks for feedback on how his/her actions affect other people’s performance.
Picture yourself talking with a peer or direct report. What might you learn if you asked for feedback on how your actions affect their (and others’) performance? Or, you could ask: “What could I do or do differently to help you excel in your role?” How might you respond if your manager were to ask you?
It takes guts to be vulnerable – for both the asker and the answerer – when you’re seeking candid feedback. Often, the question must be asked a number of times, over time, before it is taken seriously. At first, you will most likely hear only polite responses. But, if you ask again and again, over time they will realize you mean it and trust that they can be candid with you.
Test it out by asking someone you like and trust. Listen attentively to what they say. Don’t defend yourself or make excuses. Just listen. Then, thank them for their candor and let them know you will think about it and get back with them at another time with what you plan to do.
Here’s another question to consider. What would happen if you asked:
What could my team (or department) do to help your team (or department) be even more successful?
Think of the impact this could have. Once they trust you’re serious, it could lead to some truly meaningful discussions. You may hear things you would never hear otherwise. You’ll have opportunity to shift behaviors that may have been blind spots for you and your people.
By asking the question and digesting what you hear, you will be role modeling, an exemplary leadership practice. When you help others do better by adjusting your behaviors, you will grow and benefit in ways that may surprise you.
*The list of 30 leadership behaviors is in the LPI® 360 (Leadership Practices Inventory) report I review with my clients who take this 360 assessment.
