Two leaders facing problems – One quickly moves toward them wanting to figure out what must be resolved and deal with it. He’s working on not always taking control. The other gets a knot in his stomach when a problem requires him to “confront” someone. He avoids “conflict.” Those words – confront and conflict – sound like he’s going into battle.
For both, a shift in thinking from aggravated to curious could make a real difference. When curious, you seek to understand. You ask questions to open up dialog rather than questions that generate excuses or blame.
Your goal is to draw out the thinking that led to the problem so that you’ll have a better understanding of how others think. Knowing their perspectives, their reasoning, enables you to build from there.
Tone of voice is key. You’ve heard me say that before, but we all know we respond differently to a curious tone than an irritated one. “Tell me more” can open up more lines of thinking.
You may be thinking, as these leaders did, that this kind of conversation takes more time, and that’s a problem because you don’t have it. Of course, every problem requires a quick assessment of whether an immediate decision by the leader is needed. But, keep in mind, time spent asking genuinely curious and interested questions will save time and frustration in the future. Plus, you could wind up with a more collaborative environment, which is priceless.
Being a people leader is all about their development. It’s not just about getting the job done.
When you switch your mindset to curious, windows and doors in your mind – and theirs – will open. Over time, you could be running a much smoother operation.
