Petra was angry. Her employee had disclosed confidential information to a client but denied doing so. Petra knew it had occurred because she received a call from the client talking about specifics no one else could have told them.
“I have to tell her she’s a liar,” Petra said. Did she really want to take that approach? I asked what questions she could ask to explore what had happened. After she vented more of what she would like to say, she cooled down. That led us to a more open exchange of what she could do that would be more effective.
I reminded Petra that leadership is a never-ending learning experience. Every situation, every person, every frustration, brings opportunities for learning. By asking good questions, she could learn more about how this employee thinks and what made her view the content as good to share with the client. She also could clarify her own thoughts about developing this employee because she would prefer not to lose her.
Listening and using silence to encourage the employee to open up will be key. Asking questions that start with “What” instead of “Why” and following up with “Tell me more” can lead to further disclosure of her thinking and better understanding on both sides.
If the employee continues to deny, then Petra has another issue. I asked a psychologist friend what he recommends be done when someone lies. “Call them on it,” he said, “don’t let it slide. And keep track because if it continues to happen, or if the person continually deflects blame, you have a problem you want to get rid of. They are detrimental to your company.”
Petra can learn a lot about this employee, her perspective and her connection with this client. Then she will be better prepared to develop her further or take other action.
