You know what it feels like when you sense that something you said is not what people at the table wanted to hear? That happened to me recently. I was being interviewed for a coaching gig for a director who needed to change some behaviors.
“I’m not a coach who makes a practice of telling you what to do,” I said. “I ask questions to draw out the best in you.” I believe those words sunk my selection because they wanted a coach who would tell this leader what to stop/start doing. That’s not my style.
My style has developed over many years into an 80/20 approach. I ask questions 80% of the time and give examples, make suggestions 20% of the time. When working with people who need/want to change behaviors/habits, asking questions is tremendously effective. It gets them thinking and talking about what they’re doing, what could be even better, what impact even better would have short- and long-term, and what’s in it for them if they change.
I’ll often ask:
– what would happen if …
– what if you were to look at it from this other perspective …
– what else could be possible …
It’s amazing what comes out in response to those and other questions, particularly with my non-judgmental method. They see more possibilities as they explore perspectives, shifting their thinking about people and situations. They develop their thoughts further and take action they might not have otherwise. Real change occurs when they shift gears internally.
That’s what I love about coaching. You know what you have within you, what you’re dealing with, what you’re capable of (or could be), what you want to be known for, and what you’d love to able to do now and in the future. It is my role and goal to draw out of you the uniqueness and answers only you have. That’s the gift you get – learning more about what only you are here to do and be. Some have said the changes they’ve made are profound, life enhancing. That’s music to my ears.
If you want to do something differently, shift into new possibilities, explore further your unique talents (your brilliance), email me. I have a coaching slot opening in April. I’d love to help you pursue a gig (a project, stretch, change) that’s right for you.
